MY DISPLEASURE WITH PRIDE
Scott MacPherson (in Canada) 2 Jul 2002 at 22:55 GMT

I am a 32 year old gay white male from Toronto and I am writing to say that I didn't go to the Pride
Day Festivities as I would like to express my displeasure with Pride Day.

I came out in 1992 and was then proud to attend my first Pride Day. I have been in the
parade every year up until 1999 and have watched the parade for 2000 and for the last time in 2001.
In saying that, I don't look forward to Pride week and I dread Pride Day even worse. I have now
made all the statements I wanted to make through plackard signs, have said everything I wanted to
say and did all the things I wanted to do in a parade situation.

Now, all that is no longer important to me. I cannot stand watching parade, regardless of what
parade it is as it bores me to death. I have become less tolerant of crowds as I am a person that
needs space everywhere I go.

The last three years of my attending Pride Day have all been negative as I have lost friendships
for good on that day, I have also been harrassed, have been touched and attacked - all by the gay
population. All of these things happening have made Pride Day negative for me as it reduces me to
tears of frustration and resentment.

Thus, I made a vow to myself and to all my friends that I would not attend the Pride Day
festivities ever again. This year, I kept my vow.

After being in the parade for years (I have had to sneak in because I can't afford the cost, I
say this with no apologies), I find it embarrassing, anti-"freedom", capitalistic and awful that
individuals would have to pay a fee to even be in or march in the parade. Shame !! I also don't
agree with the corporations getting involved with Pride Day as their statement when "Gay Pride" has
been lost along the way as big business' involvement advertises that Pride Day Pride is all about
the almighty buck. Shame !! Corporations, in my opinion, may have a need to send a statement but
have no business co-opting Gay Pride Day as theirs and charging for the pleasure.

We're not talking here of tickets for a dinner and/or dance, we're not talking about the many
small booths set up to sell things up and down Church Street, I'm referring to any involvement in
Gay Pride Day having to charge Gays for the pleasure and need to express their identity, need for
support and joyfullness about their life style no matter how mauch or little money they make or is
in their pocket. Shame!!

I now find the Pride Parade is an exploitation of the Gay population rather than a celebration.
In addition, I wonder why the establishment, or the straight population finds it necessary to make
Gays conform to conventional standards of celebration when Gay Pride was supposed to break free of
all that?

I believe that their are some members of the Gay population who have sold out to attract
mainstream attention, popularity and fame at the expense of each Gay who, once a year, looks to
belong and be included and not be subjected more prejudice because of poverty.

A friend asked me if my views on Gay Pride Day would change if I had a partner. I'm not part of
a couple, but I don't believe it would make a difference. Toronto's Gay Pride Day has managed to
eclipse my interest and involvement so that this year I looked for distraction to make it through
the day.

Sincerely;
Scott MacPherson
scottylandMC@hotmail.com

Re: MY DISPLEASURE WITH PRIDE
Anonymous 3 Jul 2002 at 05:42 GMT

I have mixed views about Pride parades and I even take issue with the name. In any other context,
the word pride is only ever used to describe an emotion related to achievement rather than to
something that just is. So to be "proud to be gay" conveys the inappropriate idea of being gay by
choice. Some will counter that argument by saying that the word pride is meant to relate to what
has been achieved in terms of gay acceptance, rather than being proud to be gay, but I think many
str8 people draw all the wrong conclusions by interpreting it as meaning "happy to have chosen to
be gay".

As far as the commercial angle goes, I agree with your concerns, but there's a degree of
inevitability and necessity. To publicise and stage events of this size costs money and the money
has to come from somewhere.

If it were viable, there would be nothing to stop anyone staging less commercial events elsewhere,
but as they don't it probably proves that it's not really feasible. In fact, the last place that
Pride parades are needed is in the big cities where there is already a high degree of gay
acceptance - with the result that these large events simply preach to the already converted.
Personally, I would like to see Pride events in places like Oshawa (where the Marc Hall fiasco
occurred) and some of the other notably homophobic communities, less than an hours drive from
Toronto. Those are the places that need the parades and those are the places where gay guys
actually need some support. By comparison to all other places in Canada, being openly gay in
downtown TO is a piece of cake and I often think that many who live there believe there are no more
gay guys on earth once you've reached the end of Church St. Instead of telling the world that
downtown Toronto is full of gay acceptance, we might one day reveal the other half of the story -
that the other 99.9% of Canada isn't!

So to me, Pride parades with their original intentions simply don't exist any more. There is no
longer any need for that in large cities like Toronto and the organized events that remain are
nothing more than parties. But a party is a fine idea for those who want it, and even though it
does get a bit boring when restaged in carbon copy format year after year, I guess each year it's
always a first time for someone. And the party does at least demonstrate that there are lots and
lots of gay people, even if you can only identify them on one day of each year.

Re: MY DISPLEASURE WITH PRIDE
adl (in Canada) 10 Jul 2002 at 01:35 GMT

Hi,

Interesting discussion. I don't do parades either, but I'm a lot older than you guys. So I use my
connections to help alter rules, regulations and laws that effect our lives.

While I sympathize with Scott's opinion on corporate involvement, I see that in another light. I see
corporations as freeing themselves from bigotry imposed by hate mongers. There is a view that gay
society has a lot of money to splash around - some do. So corporations have woken up to that and
are responding as business does. This is big. This is a more far-reaching level of acceptance. Why?
Because in order to get our money and in order to get talented employees, corporations have to shed
homophobic policies and practices. They have to formulate gay-friendly employment policies, and
they have to produce advertising targeted to us. That is another form of recognition - I am
troubled by the use of the word "acceptance".

Fuck'em. You don't accept me, then you don't get my business, and I'll damn well talk to my friends
about you. And fortunately, I have friends who have money, so that can hurt a business.

Anon makes a great point about spreading the word to smaller communities. It's not exceptionally
brave or challenging to be gay in Toronto, Quecbc City, Montreal or Vancouver. But try it in
Charlottetown or Saint John or Moose Jaw. The money raised at Pride should go to outreach services
for guys trapped in small towns across Canada. Being gay in a place with only 2-3-4,000 people is
the real challenge.